Well. I’ve done it. I have completed my murder mystery magnum opus. Just in time for the best month of the year and the best holiday as well. October and Halloween, of course. It’s called Arkham Reform School of Ghosts. The term ‘ghosts’ in this case, is a metaphor. A metaphor for the bad memories left behind in this long-closed reform school. There are no actual ghosts in the story and why would there be? Ghosts are notoriously harmless. Movies about ghosts aren’t scary because they don’t really pose a threat. See the movie Ghost as an example.

No, this story features humans. If you’ve seen any horror movie made since the early 20th century you’d know that in almost every one, it turns out that humans are the real monsters. Even in actual monster movies. Check out the myriad Frankenstein films, Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Dracula films, etc. brought to us by Universal Studios for decades.

What sets this murder mystery apart from the other ones I’ve written is that this one features more intense gore moments. One of the many things I appreciate about the horror films I enjoy is the creative ways writers exact violence on their poor characters. Then we get to see those moments brought to life by the artistic talents of directors, cinematographers, editors, and special effects artists. To me, this is all beautiful.

Don’t be scared though. Let your imagination run wild alongside mine. Maybe the top of someone’s skull will get sliced off, allowing their juicy grey matter to slide out onto the stone floor. Maybe someone’s entrails will get slowly pulled out, turn by slow turn of some ancient winch. Or maybe someone's skull will get pulled out of their body by their spinal cord. Like in Predator 2.

No matter how it goes down, you should be there to experience it. It’s a good one!

If you absolutely can’t handle the gore, fine. We have other options for you. Murder on Mars is basically a Disney movie. No blood at all, so it’s even safe for kids.

A small step up from that are The Murders of Camp Blackfoot and The Snow Turns Red. They have brief descriptions of messy crime scenes but nothing too graphic.

Finally, we have Murder and the Zombie Apocalypse which has some awesome zombie-related gore moments and imagery but doesn’t approach the gruesome levels featured in Arkham Reform School of Ghosts.

It’s October! It’s the perfect month to gross out your co-workers with some juicy murder mystery action. So quit hiding under the covers and book Arkham Reform School of Ghosts now!